As adults we know how we start the day can set the tone for the entire day. The same holds true for our kids.
Our first goal for the day should be getting everyone out the door with a smile on their face, but we all know that’s easier said than done.
The “morning rush” in your house can be harder to navigate than the biggest messes we encounter on the roads.
Fortunately, with a little thought and some advance planning, there are ways to make mornings run smoothly (at least most days!).
If you find mornings to be chaotic and difficult, it’s time to work to change the expectation in your household, making it a calm and even fun time.
Waking up with more positive expectations is actually the first step to a great start of your day. These seven tips will help shift morning expectations in your family.
1. Know Your Child
The biological clock is a real thing. Some people are morning people, others are night owls, and some don’t show a strong preference.
Spend some time figuring out where your kids fall so that you can best accommodate them in the morning.
Trying to force an energetic and overly happy wakeup on the night owl may just make her more grumpy. She may need a gentle wakeup and 15 minutes of time to just lay in bed before there are any expectations put on her.
The “morning person” child in your family may prefer waking up to loud music and doing 20 jumping jacks with you to start his day.
The point is, as you start to turn your household into a happy place in the morning, take into consideration how each child feels about the morning, and what his certain needs are. The child who struggles to get out of bed isn’t lazy, this just isn’t his easiest time of the day.
2. Early to Bed, Early to Rise
One of the biggest determiners of how your child feels in the morning is whether he got enough sleep. Again, while there are broad guidelines, some kids need more sleep than others.
If it’s hard to get your child out of bed in the morning or if he often seems tired, start experimenting with getting in bed 15 minutes earlier, and maybe another 15 minutes the next week, and see if it doesn’t make the initial wakeup easier.
And when you do wake your child up in the morning, don’t wait until the last possible minute in an effort to give him all the sleep you can.
Figure out how long it takes him to get ready without rushing, build a few extra minutes into the morning and avoid having it feel like a race where you’re waking him up with a “ready, set, go!”
3. Favorite Wake Up Alarm
Depending on your child and her age, having you wake her up in the morning may not be the best choice.
The point is to wake up happy, and especially for younger kids, that often means with a few kind words and a snuggle from mom, or even with mom softly singing a song.
But, as your child gets older, she may prefer waking up on her own, if for no other reason than it makes her feel grown up.
Talk with your child about how she wants to wake up. You can buy her a special alarm clock of her choosing, or set the phone or radio to wake her up to a favorite song, or nature sound if she’s more inclined to a slower wake up.
Making your child feel like she owns her wakeup process and having the first thing she experiences be something that makes her feel good is a crucial starting point.
4. Kickstart Your Child’s Happiness
However he wakes up, make sure your child’s first human contact isn’t with a grumpy, hurried, stressed mom.
Hopefully, you have a morning routine that ensures you start your day off right and allows you to transfer this vibe to your kids.
But even on those inevitable mornings when the universe seems out to get you, putting your frustrations aside and forcing a smile and some cheerful words for your kids will help to make sure they don’t add to your morning misery, and may work to get you out of the funk too.
5. Build in Some Me Time
Oftentimes the biggest stressor in the morning is how rushed everyone feels to get out the door. If you’ll build in some time for your child to do something he enjoys, you’ll get rid of this feeling and help get the day off to a good start.
Whatever you do, avoid technology unless it’s listening to music, but help your child come up with something he can do for 10-15 minutes before he has to go off and face geometry or chemistry.
It may be reading a favorite book, playing an instrument, building with Legos, whatever qualifies as fun for your child and can be easily chunked into a few minutes in the morning.
It doesn’t have to be the same thing every day, but know what it is at least the night before to avoid the stress of wasting the 10-15 minutes that morning on deciding what to do.
6. Get Ready the Night Before
When you’re trying to get the kids in bed at a decent hour, or are just anxious to have them settled in so you can get to your own “me” time, the temptation is great to say, “Oh, we’ll just do that in the morning.”
At the time, it seems like it will only take a minute to do it in the morning, but inevitably you’ll forget or it will take longer than anticipated, or something will go awry.
Avoid leaving anything for the morning. Get clothes laid out, papers signed, and backpacks filled before your child goes to bed. The extra few minutes it might take tonight will be well worth it when the morning runs smoothly.
7. Have a Routine
In all of life, both kids and adults thrive off of routine. Kids especially do better when they know what to expect and know what’s expected of them.
Some kids may benefit from having it written down somewhere that they can see it and check things off as they do it, others may just need you to walk them through it each morning until it becomes habit.
Whatever works best for you is what is best for you, just build a routine into the morning for your child. The routine can start with having everything ready to go the night before.
If you don’t currently have a routine, tell your child you’re going to start one so that mornings will be easier, then work with her in whatever way she needs to adapt to the routine. Let her help shape the routine along the way, to the extent that her way of doing things is reasonable.
When there’s an unexpected break in the routine - those mornings are bound to happen — work with your child to get him back in step with where he should be rather than just letting the train completely derail.
Thanks for reading. Hopefully you’ve found some ideas you can implement to make your bad mornings good or your good mornings even better.
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