Monday, October 22, 2018

How to Navigate Political and Social Justice Discussions With Your Kids




Your gut reaction when thinking about how much you want your kids exposed to politics and the social justice issues that inevitably arise during political discussions is probably something like, “The less they know, the better.”

In the United States, things often appear to be spinning out of control, with troublesome personal allegations being raised against politicians themselves almost daily, political smear campaigns dipping to new lows, and deep party lines being drawn over important social justice issues.

It used to be that, as parents, we could control what our kids knew and didn’t know about the world. 

Simply turning off the TV and putting up the newspaper kept our kids safely shrouded in the naive bliss of childhood.

Obviously those days are long gone as computers, tablets, and smart phones have become a near-constant part of children’s lives from a very young age.

As much as we can still try to control access, most kids (like adults) get virtually all of their news from social media. 

Certainly there’s an argument to be made that kids don’t have to be on social media until they’re well into their high school years, but it’s probably not the experience most of us our living.

Whether it’s their own activities, what they hear from friends, or what they’re getting in school, the fact is, kids are being exposed to more “grown up” news in today’s world, and we do them a disservice by hoping they don’t understand it or aren’t interested in it.

Part of our job is to help them understand it, figure out how they feel about certain issues, and learn how to process all the information that’s coming their way.

Left to their own devices, kids have no idea how to unravel media spin, and are likely to blindly adopt political and social views they hear in soundbites from their favorite rap and sports stars.

Talking to your kids about politics is right up there with educating them on “the birds and the bees” so they’ll be better prepared to face the world in a safe and responsible way. 

And you’re going to have to do it before they’re really ready to hear it.

So today let’s look at seven ways you can help your kids’ exposure to and involvement in politics and social justice issues be positive, or at least informed.

1. Address the Negativity

Politics is rarely, if ever, associated with positive communications and emotions between the candidates.

Talk to your child about how the political system works, explaining things to the level of her understanding. Let her know people do and say things to get elected, explain the power of party lines, and the influence that lobbyists and campaign contributions can have.

Don’t dismiss her questions with responses like, “Oh he’s an idiot,” or, “You don’t need to worry about that until you’re older.” Answer as clearly as you can for the age and maturity of your child.

Yes, there are topics like abortion and gun violence that our youngest kids should be shielded completely from, but only refuse to address the issue as “an adult topic that you’ll save for when they’re older” when it really is way above something they should be exposed to.

The main point here is to let your child know that all the fighting and name-calling she may see in politics is not normal. It’s not how she should ever treat anyone and it’s not how relationships are built. 

Stress that even if she disagrees with someone’s views, the rude and bully-like behavior she likely sees politicians exhibit is disrespectful, often for show, and not how she should ever behave.

2. Explain the Ads

Simply turn off the ads for the youngest kids, since it’s become almost impossible to avoid them.

But even for grade school aged kids, and especially as they become old enough to use social media, it’s important to address the ads, which again, are almost 100% negative and hateful towards the opponent.

Compare the ads to any other ad that’s trying to sell you something, and let your child know that many political ads contain lies, or truths so cleverly spun that they can’t be trusted.

Let your child know that his position on a person or issue should never be determined by an ad. 

When you see a non-political ad for a product your child doesn’t like, point out to him how much he would disagree with what’s being said in that ad, and remind him that’s why we don’t decide things based on ads.

3. Find Kid-Friendly News

Seek out kid-friendly new sources that explain things from your child’s level of understanding. Even if your child's not interested in them, you can consult them when thinking about how to talk with her about topics she’s encountering in her world.

xyza News for Kids, Scholastic Kids Press Corps, and Time for Kids are three helpful news sources for kids.

There is also no shortage of kid-friendly books explaining the political process.

For the younger kids, Duck for President is a good choice. Consider Vote! for the 2nd grade level and beyond, or Vote for more a in-depth look at the history of democracy. 

4. Reinforce Family Values

Use discussions of how politicians act and hot social justice topics that are popping up to reinforce your family values with your kids.

Point out that in every day life, including within your family, problems aren't solved and discussions aren’t had with the level of anger and disrespect they may see on their newsfeeds.

Discuss your views on the issues and why you do or don’t like certain political candidates with an eye towards what values you try to instill in your kids, whether that’s kindness, respect, loyalty, independence, et cetera. 

This may be a good time for you to reflect on what your family values are and how those interlace with your political views and opinions.

5. Foster Deep, Independent Thinking

No matter how bad you want to, resist the urge to say, “Our family supports X candidate,” “We always vote Democrat,” or “Anyone who supports X policy is a complete moron.”

Talk to your child about how some political/social issues are really tough and have arguments that go both ways. Explain the heated emotions she often sees as being a result of how difficult the issues are.

Encourage her to look at both sides of every issue and as she gets older, to look at the good and bad of each political candidate before claiming allegiance to anyone.

Also let her know that her opinions can change with more and new information, or as she becomes more experienced in the world, and that’s perfectly okay.

6. Encourage Healthy Involvement

If your child expresses interest in politics in general, or any specific political or social issue, encourage his involvement in a healthy way.

This will help protect against him joining the negative bandwagon and becoming a part of the problem rather than the solution.

Look for charitable groups that support the cause he’s interested in, or even political groups that teach kids more about the democratic process and getting involved in politics.

7. Talk About Their Role in the Future

Although most of us hope our kids go running in the opposite direction of a future working in politics, all of them are the future voters of America, if not political activists or politicians themselves.

Talk to your kids about what they see now and what changes they’d like to see. Explain how their one vote does count, and that their generation has the power to make the changes.

Beginning with respectful and honest conversations, based on thoughtfulness and not rhetoric, will go a long way towards righting a lot of what’s wrong in American politics. 

Encourage your child to keep these things in mind in her conversations, and to guide others in this direction. 

Empower her by letting her know that even if she doesn’t see it now, her words and actions are truly shaping the future of her country.

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If you’ve found some value in this post, be sure to connect with us on Facebook, where we share daily strategies for parenting happy and healthy kids, as well as stories about the magic we bring to children’s parties.

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