When you make the decision to start your own business, you’re filled with excitement about the possibilities.
About pursuing your passions and dreams.
About having the money for those long-anticipated extras, or perhaps just being able to comfortably cover the basics.
Your spouse, on the other hand, may not share any of your excitement.
This is especially true if he isn’t entrepreneurial and is working hard at his 9 to 5 so all the family financial obligations can be met.
In his view, you already have a “business,” and it involves keeping the house running smoothly and taking care of the kids.
This is not a sexist or chauvinistic view, being a stay a home mom really is one of the toughest and most time-consuming jobs out there.
When you start your business, you’re going to have enough going on without creating extra tension in the family, so it’s important to get on the same page with your spouse in the beginning, or to at least make sure the two of you are reading from the same book!
Fortunately, you can do this by just taking a little extra time and focusing on communication (the key to most things when it comes to relationships).
Here are the steps you’ll want to take with your spouse before starting your business.
If you already have a business and it’s creating some family tension, now would be a good time to push the reset button and jump into these steps from where you are in your business.
Be Realistic, or Even Pessimistic, About the Finances
One of the leading sources of stress in relationships is finances.
Figuring out finances on your own can be stressful enough.
Add in another person whose views and priorities aren’t identical to yours and it can be a recipe for divorce if you aren’t proactive about making a plan together.
Here’s how it often goes when you’re starting a business.
You bring the idea to your spouse, full of excitement and optimism.
You present the best case scenario details to him because it’d be silly to go into a business imagining you might fail.
You begin to work hard on your new business, but no money is coming in.
Your spouse starts to question what’s going on here, as the business is certainly taking your time, and even some of the money he’s bringing in, but he’s seeing none of the return on investment you so excitedly talked about in the beginning.
When he brings the issue up to you, you urge him to just give it time, but you can’t tell him exactly how much time. This isn’t like a job where you’re paid on a schedule.
He starts to feel like this whole thing is a huge time and money suck, and you start to feel anxious from the pressure to show him the money.
Things go downhill from there.
To avoid this scenario, have a financial planning meeting about your business to begin with.
Actually schedule a time to sit down and lay out expectations.
Fill your spouse in on the start up costs, the ongoing monthly costs, and the possibility of extra costs that might be incurred along the way.
Make clear to your spouse that this isn’t a get rich quick thing. You may not be profitable your first few months.
Lay out your income goals for him, but warn him that these are “goals” and the timetable for meeting them has to be flexible.
Make a deal with him that if after a certain number of months things appear to be “failing,” you’ll sit down together and have another financial meeting.
It’s important that he understand that he’ll have to give you a little space when it comes to finances. It’s also important that you understand how much space he’s willing to give you before he turns against your business.
Make a Plan for How You’ll Deal With Your Existing Responsibilities
Those who are transitioning from the corporate world to owning their own business have it easier than you do.
Once their business reaches a certain level of profit, they simply quit their corporate job.
You won’t be quitting your job as stay at home mom.
Rather, you’ll be transitioning into work at home mom, which basically means you’ll have two jobs!
The goal of course is to make this a good thing, and not a burden on you or the family.
What will likely happen if you don’t figure out how you’ll handle this dual role, looks something like this.
You start to throw yourself into your new business with all the excitement and drive it deserves.
You’re spending all your free time on your business baby, and things start to slack a little around the house.
Your spouse begins to become resentful of your business, stirring up the same feelings as if you were cheating on him.
He may be very vocal about his resentment and the number of times you’ve had carry out for dinner this week, or the fact that he’s gone to bed without you for 10 straight days now.
Or even worse, in his effort to be supportive of you, he may keep all the resentment in and try to wait it out, thinking things will get better after this business gets off the ground.
But, his resentment will inevitably start to show in different ways, and if his dissatisfaction drags on too long, it will all come out in one ugly explosion.
The longer you let his resentment go on, the harder it will be to deal with and correct.
Not surprisingly, a little planning and communication will do wonders in avoiding the resentment.
Again, you’ll want to sit down and have a family planning meeting around your business.
Talk to him about the hours you intend to work, and make sure he understands that it will take more of your time in the beginning, and that “the beginning” may last longer than he wants it to.
Talk about the family responsibilities that he and the kids may have to take on to help support your new business.
Let your family help choose which things they’d like to take over, so that no one feels too put upon or gets stuck with cleaning the toilet every week.
Make a plan to check in with each other often, to make any adjustments that need to be made, and handle any resentment that's starting to build.
Your spouse may not love these changes, but if he understands the importance to you of what you’re doing, and sees that you will be able to hire that housekeeper soon, he’s more likely to be supportive of you and hang in there.
Finally, schedule one-on-one time with your spouse. A 30 minute block each day, a date night once a week, whatever the two of you need to make sure you keep him a priority, and he knows it.
Make it All Easier With a Mentor
While finances and time are the biggest obstacles to gaining your spouse’s support for your new venture, anything that jumps up as an issue once you transition from stay at home mom to work at home mom, can be solved with communication and a mutual desire to make the other person happy.
The best way to make sure you start a business that will actually succeed, and to cut out the initial hassles that cause the spousal dissatisfaction, is to have the help of a business mentor.
Kids Party Characters owner Cheryl Jacobs is a serial entrepreneur and is well aware of all the roadblocks that can make starting a successful business so hard.
Her desire to help as many entrepreneurs as possible avoid the downsides to business ownership led her to create a membership opportunity with KidsPartyCharacters.com.
Membership gives you the advantage of starting with an already successful business.
Benefits include having an exclusive territory in which to book parties, the right to use our 200 plus costumes, access to our casting director and acting coach, and personal business mentoring and training from Cheryl and the team at KidsPartyCharacters.com.
If the idea of starting with a proven business and receiving personal mentoring from an experienced entrepreneur appeals to you, set up a no-pressure call with Cheryl right here at KidsPartyCharacters.com and she’ll answer all your questions and walk you through whether this is the right opportunity for your life.
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