Success, Happiness, and Kate Spade

Imagine that you were an editor at a prestigious magazine. One day, you had an idea to start a handbag company in response to a need you saw in the market.

The success of your new business allowed you to sell just over half of it for $33.6 million, and to completely exit the business to concentrate on your new ventures eight years after selling off the first part.

Today you have a charity focusing on economic equality for women, a business featuring an accessories label, a husband and 13-year-old daughter, and a net worth of $200 million.

And suddenly you’re dead.

Certainly the victim of some tragic and unforeseeable accident, people would assume.

After all, you’re described by those who know you as being just like your handbags, “colorful and unpretentious,” as being “approachable,” “jovial,” always speaking with “excitement and a smile,” and having “a great ray of light” about you.

The reality that your death was a suicide would seem incomprehensible to the world.

And yet, this was the life and death of Kate Spade, who inexplicably hung herself in her apartment yesterday at the age of 55.

Powerful Lessons to Hold On To

If you’re a stay at home mom, or an entrepreneur, Kate Spade’s life probably sounds like a dream come true. 

What if your little business idea turned into an empire that was purchased by the likes of Coach, a designer fashion company, for $2.4 billion like Kate’s was in 2017?

And you were just hoping to someday grow your business to a paltry six figures . . .

It’s impossible to completely understand what leads a person to suicide, but as with every loss, it’s possible, and important to learn from it so that we can be better going forward.

Without knowing Kate Spade or what pain she found so unbearable, we can still take away at least these three lessons. 

Be Happy Where You Are

We know money doesn’t buy happiness, how many times have we heard that one.

But do we really believe it?

A common response to that worn out saying is “yes, but . . .” 

We think that in our lives, it really would. Because when we take inventory of all of our problems, not a one of them couldn’t be seemingly solved by having more money.

The problem with this approach is inevitably when you hit that magical dollar amount that you think will make everything okay, you discover that either it didn’t, or that you now just have a whole new set of problems.

Which is why it’s so important to learn to be happy along your journey.

If you aren’t happy now, with what you do have, with the road you’re on and what you’re doing today on that road, it’s almost a guarantee that you won’t be happy even if you do arrive at your desired destination.

Practice gratitude for what you have and you’ll realize that you have some pretty awesome people, things, circumstances in your life right now.

Get rid of the “I’ll be happy when” mindset, because you won’t. 

Start living a life that makes you happy today.

We’re All Fighting Our Demons

We may never know what Kate Spade’s demons were, but she clearly had them. And in her unfortunate perception at that moment in time yesterday, she believed they were bigger than she was.

Yet to the outsider, her life appeared “perfect.”

This perception of a perfect life is a big problem created by social media.

For many people, social media is their opportunity to show off the highlight reel of their life, even if that means boldly displaying 5% of their life on Facebook, while the sad reality of the other 95% gets left behind on the cutting room floor.

When we look around at all these glamorous people who seem to be living the “perfect life” by their own accounts, remember that they are only showing you what they want you to see, and a good portion of them are flat our lying about how great things are.

They’re either broke, in a troubled relationship, fighting constant battles with their own self-confidence, or all three of these things and more.

Don’t let others’ seeming perfection, whether it’s in your mind or something they’re trying to sell you on, make you feel like you aren’t good enough and never will be.

Our demons make us human, and fighting them makes us stronger. Never give up.

Always Stay Connected

An important piece of learning to be happy where you are and realizing we’re all fighting demons, is staying connected with other like-minded people.

Being a stay at home mom can be lonely, so can being an entrepreneur.

Both suffer from not having a lot of contact with the outside world, as we concentrate on meeting the needs of our kids and/or the demands of our one-woman business.

Having friends, colleagues, mentors is essential to both your happiness and your success.

They give you perspective, act as a sounding board, support you when no one else does, and are just there to sit with you (virtually or in real life) when you question whether you can do this thing called life.

Studies relating to suicide and depression show the positive difference simply having someone to talk to can make.

So get involved. Find “your” people online, through social media, through local networking groups.

And don’t be afraid to let these people know that you need them. They need you too.

If you’re in need of a business mentor, Kids Party Characters owner and serial entrepreneur Cheryl Jacobs has many years of experience and a passion for mentoring other entrepreneurs.  

Check out Cheryl’s mentorship opportunity and schedule a friendly, no-pressure chat with her at KidsPartyCharacters.com.

Above all else, keep the hope. 

The world lost a beautifully creative woman yesterday. A young girl lost her mother. A husband lost a wife who by all accounts he loved deeply. Countless other people lost a friend, relative, colleague.

It shouldn’t have happened, and it doesn’t have to happen again. 

We all must do our part to reach out to others when we need help, realizing that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness; and to be there giving hope when we see others reaching out to us.

Together we can all be happier and more successful.