The bullying problem in schools is real, and it effects many kids whose parents never would suspect their child would be at risk of being bullied.
National studies in the U.S. show that 28% of students in grades 6-12 have experienced bullying. Sadly, those percentages are now making their way down to effect even grade school kids.
71% of students say they’ve seen bullying in their schools.
Unfortunately, the vast majority of bullying goes unreported.
Why? Because kids fear their parents won’t believe them or won’t understand the severity of the situation, because it’s too embarrassing, they think their parents can’t help anyway, and the last thing they want is mom up as school making things even worse for the child.
But, consistent bullying has devastating effects on a child’s life, so it’s a hard thing for them to hide from you if you’re really in tune with your child.
Of course, as your child gets older, staying in tune becomes harder.
There’s a fine line between making sure everything’s okay and giving them the space they need as they start seeing themselves as a separate person from you.
Overall, if you are noticing significant and persistent unexplained changes in your child, bullying should be one of the suspect causes.
We’ll talk about how to discover whether it is the cause in just a minute.
Common Signs that Your Child is Being Bullied
But first, here are 10 specific things you’ll want to tune in to with your child, as they are common among kids who are suffering from bullying:
1. Withdrawing from friends
This can include not wanting to go to school, making excuses for not wanting to ride the bus (in reality he’s afraid), avoiding or declining activities with peers, and not wanting to hang out with his regular group of friends.
2. Lost or missing possessions
Toys, school supplies, jackets, food, money, anything your child has, a bully will take or damage just to be a bully.
Sure kids lose things, but be wary of sketchy explanations and take notice if losing or damaging things becomes a habit.
3. Unexplained drop in all or most grades
It’s hard to concentrate on school work when you spend the day trying to deal with and avoid the bully.
4. Low self esteem
Certain stages of growing up can be stressful for kids, even when life is good.
But if your previously confident child begins blaming things on himself, being hard on himself, expressing feelings of helplessness and not being good enough, these are exactly the kinds of feelings bullies instill in their victims.
Investigate this thoroughly before just brushing it off as growing pains.
If you can’t help your child see his self worth, there’s a strong possibility that’s because someone is tearing him down every day.
5. Becoming the bully to younger siblings
This is another one that can be hard to spot sometimes, as siblings are notoriously known for their love/hate relationships.
But if a common pattern starts emerging of bullying behaviors that are consistent and weren’t seen before, it’s time to figure out the why behind the behavior.
6. Running to the bathroom after school
Bathrooms can be scary places at school because they aren’t supervised by adults and have quiet a bit of privacy.
If your child runs in the door and uses the bathroom the minute he gets home from school every day, this could be a sign that he’s avoiding it at school because that’s where the bullying is happening.
7. Excessive physical complaints
These usually take the form of headaches or stomachaches, because being bullied can actually cause these physical ailments.
It may also just be frequent visits to the nurse’s office with general complaints of not feeling well.
Whether real or your child is just seeking an escape, pay attention if a pattern develops.
8. Change in sleep habits
This could be sleeping more, or not being able to sleep.
Nightmares, bedwetting, being afraid of the dark, any change in what used to go on from bedtime until wake up time can be a sign of bullying.
9. Unexplained crying or intense emotional reactions
There’s something going on and they don’t want to talk about it, which makes bullying a prime candidate for the cause.
This is especially true if the intense reactions occur around topics and discussions related to school.
10. Unusual behavior around electronic devices
This one applies more to older kids, but if your child has a phone, tablet, or computer and he either becomes obsessed with being on it all the time, or suddenly doesn’t want to look at it, this could be a sign of cyberbullying.
Cyberbullying can be just as devastating, if not more, that in real life bullying because kids live online so much.
If your child is being bullied online, chances are he won’t want to tell you for fear that you’ll shut off all of his online activities to try to protect him.
What to Do if You Suspect Your Child’s Being Bullied
One study showed that only 20-30% of bullied students notify an adult about the bullying.
No matter how close you feel like your relationship is with your child, don’t ever assume that she would tell you if she’s being bullied.
You’re going to have to do a little detective work, and potentially even anger your child in the process.
But that’s okay, this is serious stuff, and for kids with multiple risk factors it can even lead to suicide.
If you see behaviors that fit with bullying, ask your child questions.
You seem really hungry, are you eating your lunch?
A lot of things you really like seem to be getting lost, is someone taking them?
If your child hasn’t already come to you about being bullied, she’ll probably deny it when you try to pry, but watch her demeanor and her body language.
You’re the mom, you know her well and will be able to tell if something’s off or her answers aren’t truthful.
If you can’t get your child to come clean and still suspect something’s up, talk to her teachers.
See if the teachers notice any changes, and ask them to keep an eye on her during the day.
You can also contact your child’s friend’s parents.
The friend is much more likely to report to her parent that someone is being mean to your child.
Friends can also notice changes in behavior or in relationships that they may not attribute to bullying, but that can give you clues of how to further investigate.
And when it comes to electronic devices, have clear policies about their use, and keep their use in public areas.
Make sure your child understands that it’s not that you don’t trust her, it’s that you don’t trust others because many times people pretend to be someone they aren’t online.
If all else fails and you still know something just isn’t right, seek professional help.
A trained counselor may be able to discover things your child doesn’t want to admit to you.
And, just the fact that you’ve taken it that far may show your child how serious you are and convince her to open up a little.
Stay Connected With Kids Party Characters
At Kids Party Characters kids are our passion, and we’re committed to providing valuable information on how to keep your kids safe, healthy, and happy.
Connect with us on Facebook for daily updates on the magic we bring to children’s parties, as well as our top parenting strategies.
And when it comes time to book your next party, visit us at KidsPartyCharacters.com to choose from our selection of over 200 characters to invite to your party, as well as packages that include cotton candy, face painting, and balloon twisting.
No comments:
Post a Comment