One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is confidence.
The line between nature and nurture when it comes to raising children is definitely an uncertain one.
There are clearly some things about our kids that are beyond our control.
Some are born athletic, others with two left feet.
Some get straight A’s without studying, some have to work for hours every night to stay at the top of the class.
And some will appear to be naturally confident and certain, while others are naturally more timid and withdrawn.
But never accept your child’s confidence level as a fixed trait.
A seemingly confident child can do a 180 if he gets singled out for any reason, becomes the victim of a bully, or gets his heart broken by a young love interest.
Fortunately, confidence is one of those things that we as parents have the ability to give our child if we take the time to model it, teach it, and ingrain it in him.
Of course it will be easier to do for some kids than for others, but whatever it takes, arming your children with confidence is one of the best things you can do for them.
First, it will enable your child to navigate the up and downs of school better.
The confident child is rarely who the bully picks on, can handle being different than other kids, and bounces back more easily from romantic breakups.
And second, the confident child becomes the confident adult, who is then happier and more successful in his career, relationships, finances, and personal and spiritual development.
As with most things when it comes to raising children, modeling confidence is one of the best ways to make sure your children pick up the habit.
And really, that's what confidence is, nothing more than a habit.
When we get used to being confident in our actions and decisions, we automatically respond to everything with confidence.
In addition to modeling confidence, there are four big life lessons you can actively teach your kids that will help them develop the confidence habit.
1. “Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache, carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” ~ Napoleon Hill
Kids aren’t born with a fear of failure, or even a sense that “failure” is a thing at all.
If they were, humans would forever be stuck at that stage where we’re rocking back and forth on our knees and elbows trying to gather the coordination to crawl.
Just think about how many times a baby falls down before developing the ability to walk steadily.
As an adult, have you ever failed that many times and just kept going towards your goal as if it were nothing?
From the beginning of our lives, failure is part of the process of success.
But then we get all realistic and start telling our kids they can’t be, do, and have anything they want.
We teach them that life is hard, they should avoid failure, and lead safe lives as much as possible, even though it will mean reigning in some of their dreams.
What we should be teaching our children is what Napoleon Hill points out, everything bad has something good if not better that comes with it or from it.
Basically, help your child to see the silver lining in every cloud.
Help her see how a failure can bring her closer to success, how a challenge can make her stronger.
When your child is younger, you may have to point out the seed that’s left behind by every adversity, and if you do, she’ll learn to start seeing her own seeds without as much guidance from you.
When she knows good can come from failure, adversity, and heartache, she’ll become more confident in facing all life’s challenges.
2. “The doing is often more important than the outcome.” ~ Arthur Ashe
This lesson appropriately comes from a tennis star, because it’s one that is easiest to teach through sports.
No matter how frustrating your child and/or his team’s performance is in your eyes, maintain the attitude that the effort is more important than the result and convey this to your child.
Some kids are naturally more competitive than others, but whether your child is disappointed in a tough result or couldn’t care less, let him know that you saw how hard he’s worked at this sport and you really enjoy watching him play.
Don’t let him be too hard on himself, and don’t ever criticize his performance.
Even if your child has no interest in sports, adopt this attitude in whatever he does, whether it’s an art project, a school presentation, or an honest attempt to clean his room.
A child who knows all he has to do is his best will be much more confident about doing anything than one who’s worried about whether he’ll obtain a successful or “winning” result.
3. “Haters are important because they show you you’re doing something right.” ~ Nuno Roque
Kids can be so cruel, and this is especially unfortunate since most kids live and die based on what their peers think of them.
Even if your child is part of the “popular kids,” there will undoubtedly be times in her life that she’ll feel rejected and/or will be openly criticized or shunned by other kids.
Teach your kids early that not everyone is going to like them, and that’s okay.
Naturally, your child won’t like everyone either. Hopefully, with your guidance, she’ll just have learned not to be cruel to the kids she isn’t interested in being friends with.
So what’s the meaning behind Nuno Roque’s words here that can help your child?
If in life you be yourself, stand up for what you believe in, and forge your own path, you’re going to attract the attention of people who either don’t like your views, or who see what you’re doing and wish they were doing it but they’re too afraid to put themselves out there.
When people hate on you, it’s almost always a reflection of some insecurity within the hater herself, and really has nothing to do with you.
When your child faces criticism or rejection from other kids, help her look at those kids and figure out whether those are the kind of people she wants to be friends with or have approval from anyway.
You probably can’t take away all the pain other kids can inflict on your child at times, but you can certainly lessen the blow and help her look at haters in a whole different light, which will give her confidence when she is up against an unkind peer.
4. “You will enrich your life immeasurably if you approach it with a sense of wonder and discovery, and always challenge yourself to try new things.” ~ Nate Berkus
Encouraging your child to try new things is one of the biggest confidence builders you can ever give him.
Explore and feed his interests, and suggest things that may fall outside of what he’s immediately drawn to.
It could be that he’s not interested in your new ideas, or maybe he’s just afraid to try them for fear that he won’t be any good at them.
When you help your child experience new things, he’ll lose the fear that surrounds change and the unknown and will be more confident about and open to exploring his curiosities.
Chances are, there’ll be at least one thing he thought he’d hate that he’ll end up loving and being good at.
Trying new things is the best way to strengthen the confidence habit, and also helps with the first lesson on getting over fear of failure.
If you’ll approach new things with the attitude of “let’s just try it and see what happens,” when it’s no fun or your child isn’t good at it, he’ll just see it as another step in the right direction of discovering what he does enjoy and excel at, rather than as a failure.
Connect with Kids Party Characters
At Kids Party Characters our passion is helping you raise happy and confident kids.
We do our part by offering a party experience that is unmatched by any other company, and designed to leave your child and her guests with a lifetime of memories.
Visit us at KidsPartyCharacters.com to see our selection of over 200 characters, meaning chances are great that whoever your child’s favorite character is, it can be the special guest at her next party.
In addition to putting on a great show for your child and her friends, our characters can bring along face painting, balloon twisting, and cotton candy to make the party complete.
And, in our continuing effort to be your one-stop party provider, Kids Party Characters now offers bounce house rentals for your party too.
Make sure to join us on Facebook for daily updates on the magic we create at children’s parties, as well as our best parenting tips and strategies.
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