How to Raise Happy Kids

More than anything, the thing most parents want for their children is to be happy.

Yet research shows the trend is more kids than ever report being depressed, anxious, and unhappy. 

With the increasing number of “opportunities” available to children today, comes an increase in expectations, stress, and overwhelm.

If we really want our children to be happy, it’s time to take some conscious steps to help get them there. 

This is certainly easier said than done, since what makes a child happy can often be one of the big mysteries of parenting. Fortunately, there are several things that have been shown to help your child on your mutual quest for her happiness. 

1. Take Care of Your Own Happiness First. This is kind of like in the event of an emergency, put your oxygen mask on first, then secure your child’s. If you’re not happy, it’s going to be impossible for you to create an environment of happiness in your home.

And your children know when something’s wrong. Don’t think you can fake your happiness and paint on a smile. It’s exhausting and ineffective.

As moms, the first thing we sacrifice in the name of our kids is ourselves. We do no one any favors by doing this. 

Make sure you have your self-care in order. This is the jumping off point for your child’s happiness.

2. Encourage Your Child to Do For Others. Even small children feel good when they are doing for others. Find a community service project your child can participate in.

Try to make this a regular occurrence. Something like visiting a seniors' home, volunteering at a food pantry, or serving meals to the homeless is ideal because your child can get to know the people he’s serving and really feel good about the connection.

Beyond this, just encourage your child to do small things for others on a daily basis. Hold the door, make a card for a sad classmate, take food to a sick neighbor. Even the smallest of gestures are effective.

3. Make More Opportunities for Physical Play. Not much more to be said here. Get your kids outside. Get them involved in games, sports, any kind of moving.

Follow their lead on this. Some kids are competitive and want to play organized sports at a high level. Others would find this over the top stressful and just need a bounce on the trampoline or walk through the woods.

4. Help Your Child Find Something He Loves. Like adults, kids feel good when they belong to something. For a lot of kids, this can be a sports team. There are several opportunities for developmental, non-competitive sports.

You may have to spend time trying several different things before you find the right one for your child. It could be that she’ll love playing a musical instrument, being involved in an after school math club, or pursuing an arts and craft hobby.

Your responsibility is to help her find her “thing.” 

5. Make Gratitude a Habit. This is simple, but very powerful. Make it a habit to spend five minutes a day talking about one thing that each family member is grateful for that day. This doesn’t have to be a formal “gratitude meeting,” just work it into the conversation with each child each day.

6. Devote Conscious 1-to-1 Time to Each Child. Plan an activity that you know your child will enjoy and make time out of your busy life to do it. 

If you have more than one child, try to schedule a “date” with each child at least once a month. This is a time when that child gets you all to himself. Do something he specifically enjoys during this time.

It doesn’t have to be expensive or take all day. If your child has a particular love, it could be a standing date at a certain place, such as a weekly trip to the zoo or a child’s museum or science center.

7. Model Optimism for Your Child. The experts say that children raised with a “glass half full” mentality suffer less from depression and anxiety as they grow into teens. 

Have an optimistic outlook on your life, and show this same optimism when your child is faced with a problem or difficult situation. 

This doesn’t mean ignore reality or always wear the rose-colored glasses, but when your child comes to you painting the worst picture of a situation, help him turn it around by talking about what if the best outcome happens.

8. Give Your Child More Responsibility and Control. Basically, stop micro-managing your kids. Many kids complain about feeling like they have no control over their lives and what they do.

Take a step back and remind yourself it’s their life. Relax your expectations and work with your child to include what he wants in his life. Give him meaningful responsibilities and increase them as he shows he can handle it.

9. Praise Your Child’s Effort, Not Her Success. Resist the urge to talk about how smart or good at something your child is. This puts pressure on her to always perform at a certain level so she doesn’t lose this label you’ve bestowed on her. 

Instead, talk about the hard work she’s done, how she’s persevered, her determination and focus. 

Praise her positive qualities and her efforts, not her outcomes.

10. Don’t Try to Fix Your Child’s Unhappiness. Let your child’s sad moments be sad. That’s the only way he can truly appreciate the happy ones.

And, in your quest for his happiness, you don’t want him to feel like he has to always paint on a smile and be happy just to please you. This will have the opposite effect of happiness.

You’re not trying to create la-la land here. Sometimes life sucks. Be there for your child when it does, and help him come out on the positive side of those experiences.

Life is  Always a Work in Progress

Don’ t be too hard on yourself or your children. Chances are, you have a lot of work to do to start creating the “perfect” environment for a happy child. 

Things won’t always go right. You and your children will make mistakes. The key is to always be striving to do your best with these 10 things each day.

And remember one thing that’s guaranteed to create a lot of happiness is inviting KidsPartyCharacters.com to put on your child’s next party. With over 200 characters to choose from, and lots of extras like cotton candy, face painting, balloon twisting, and magic shows, the fun is guaranteed at a KidsPartyCharacters.com party.

Stop by our website to start planning your child’s next party today. And connect with us on Facebook for ideas and inspirations from other magical parties we’ve created.