If you have a child over the age of 4, chances are you have a participation ribbon laying around the house somewhere.
Or at least you’ve thrown one away in your last purge of all things no one wants or needs.
Participation ribbons, medals, or trophies are given to the losers in most children’s sporting events these days, and in an increasing number of other activities for merely showing up and doing the minimum.
Rewarding every child who shows up as a “winner” has become so common that millennials are often referred to as the “participation trophy generation.”
Because sporting events and competitions have such a big impact on preparing our children for handling victory and defeat throughout their life, it’s worth taking a look at what message the participation ribbon is sending our children
Encouraging Mediocrity
One problem with declaring everyone who shows up to be a winner is that it sends the message that all you need to do in life is show up and you’re entitled to be rewarded for it, regardless of the effort you put in or the actual results you achieve.
While some kids are going to be internally motivated, this is a dangerous message to send.
Even the kids who don’t take home the first place trophy are capable of doing more than showing up and going through the motions.
But why bother, if everyone is rewarded in the end anyway?
The participation ribbon creates a sense of entitlement to a reward even when you’ve done less than your best effort.
This attitude will cause some kids to expect a good grade for simply turning in the assignment, and eventually to expect a raise for simply punching the clock on time.
Acknowledging Excellence
We also need to consider the message we’re sending to those who do win if everyone is rewarded and celebrated as the winner.
Especially as children get older, the winners are usually the kids who have combined some amount of natural talent with hard work.
They’ve gone above and beyond showing up.
They’ve attended every practice and given it their best effort, they’ve worked on their skills outside of practice, gone to bed early before competitions, and paid attention to their diet.
If we don’t acknowledge these kids for going above and beyond, we’re sending them the message that it doesn’t matter.
The reality of life of course, is that these things make all the difference.
Preparing Our Children for Life
If the participation ribbon was merely about making younger kids feel good about being involved in sports, then there would certainly be no harm.
It’s definitely better to show up for your 8:00 a.m. soccer game on Saturday morning than it is to be sitting in front of the TV eating a bowl of Lucky Charms.
But since sports do play a big part in preparing our children for life, we need to be more conscious about how the rewards are handed out.
Competition is a good thing, and is inevitably a part of our grown up work life, whether you eventually have a traditional job and are fighting for promotions, or enter the entrepreneurial space and are fighting for more customers.
And finishing last, or somewhere towards the bottom of the pack can actually be a good thing.
As adults, we recognize that some of our biggest lessons come from our failures.
Some of the most successful people in the world talk about how they’ve failed their way to success, meaning they’ve learned from each failure and gotten better.
What better way to teach this to our children than to say no, you didn’t get a medal today, but if you want one, let’s work on how you can get better.
Truth is, some kids are never going to get a medal in some activities no matter how hard they try.
And this is a valuable lesson too.
Maybe this isn’t what you’ll ever win at, so let’s go explore your other interests and find out where exactly your talents lie. Then the combination of talent and hard work is almost guaranteed to produce the reward.
The child who’s last on the race track may find herself sitting first chair violinist in the school orchestra.
This is an especially valuable lesson for entrepreneurs, who often only succeed once they’ve learned to focus on their strengths and find someone else to handle the things they’re just plain bad at.
Conscious Parenting
The participation ribbon makes parenting easy. We all go home at the end of the day with a ribbon and feel really good for showing up.
This does a disservice to our children and deprives us of opportunities to help them learn valuable lessons.
We wouldn’t need the participation ribbon if we took the time to talk to our kids about how they feel when they don’t win and how to turn this feeling into a good experience, whether that means practicing more, looking at other interests, or being okay with just having fun at the activity without being the best.
On the flip side, we do our children a disservice if we don’t talk with them about their first place medals too.
How they got there, how to stay on top, how to be a good sport and use their status to help and positively impact others.
Taking some time to do the often hard work of parenting would eliminate the need for a participation ribbon and have positive outcomes for everyone involved.
Every child is a winner at something, as parents it’s our job to commit to helping our child find his something and nurturing him to success.
Celebrate Your Child With KidsPartyCharacters.com
Of course, at KidsPartyCharacters.com we’re all about celebrating your child and all things positive about being a kid.
When you’re ready for a day away from competition and the more serious side of life, book your favorite character to appear at your house and put on a show for your child and her friends that will create a lifetime of happy memories.
Browse our selection of over 200 unique characters and see all the extras we have to offer at KidsPartyCharacters.com. It’s never too soon to start planning your child’s next party!
Also join us on Facebook to see how Kids Party Characters is bringing magical fun to children’s parties every day.
No comments:
Post a Comment